What a long title that I wrote. It was a full sentence, I just realized. I would like to say that this one is the best-fitted title for today’s post so that’s why… Let’s get started.
I warn you. If you are the type of a person who eludes away the negative lamenting. Stop reading then immediately close the tab. Because you will find words and lots of complaints from me.
I got this URGH! *rolling eyes* *rolling eyes* moment this day. That’s why I decided to utter it by writing everything here. I have a diary actually and I love to write in that, but this one is worth it to share in my WordPress. So the people I hate could read this.
I have been living for 27 years. I have changed so much since day one. We are human and change can’t be hindered. Life goes on and on as if we are on the boat and enjoying every bump and storm by the waves and wind. As the sailor, we could never cease the storm. Choosing to just grip and hoping the storm would not devour us whole. Deep inside our hearts, we might curse it, hate it, or enjoy it? but enjoying the storm is just very unlikely.
Today, I deal with another MEH! moment that caught me rolling my eyes.
Is this the dream job you’ve ever thought of?
This is the question that lingers in my head several times.
People around me especially friends who know me better sometimes envy that I work an ‘easy’ job because they could only see and judge it from the outer skin. But the job that I do right now is totally the opposite of the word ‘easy’. It is tough. Well, when it comes to dealing with the kids, I do enjoy it. They kind of like a gift from me, surprising. They could make me smile, sad, mad, and confused.
But when it comes to dealing with adults. Again I rolled my eyes.
I yearn for challenges.
Day and day it is not a challenge that I encounter but another pain in my head.
During the first month of working (I’ve been working for almost two years), I got stressed just because I endured my thoughts and madness facing the people. It affected my health and my personality changed drastically. Fortunately, there’s my mom and my dad willing to listen to my complaints Alhamdulillah. If not, I might not be here writing. I could be inside the tomb waiting for the doomsday (haha).
Never in my life have I met a person who is so manipulative in their work and words. When I know that people were such douchebags, I will not ever respect them (I don’t feel sorry for this one bye). Meeting individuals who are being manipulative is one of my red flags. I couldn’t accept it. I might be young, they could say that I’m not being respectful enough, but I don’t care. You should look at yourself in the mirror first before you criticize others duh!
So for now, I just try to do my job as it is. Ignore all of the douchebags and minimize the conversation unless they started it first.
Whom should I look up to?
Being an elder or senior means that you have subordinates and juniors. They would look up to you. Even for the one as peers, we could see each other as an example. When there isn’t anyone we could look up to then WHO SHOULD?
In my former workplace, there was never seniority and it made youngsters and elders could work together in harmony. Then comes the latter workplace, whoooo it makes me…. haaa… don’t know how to put it into words. Just exhausted.
Don’t ask too much.
I WON’T ASK UNLESS I UNDERSTAND WHOLLY. I get this ‘don’t ask too much’ warning when they told me that I asked too much for something that shouldn’t be asked. Duh. I ask because I don’t know, I’m not insulting anyone. Do you want me to be silenced and stupid?
I would like to say thanks to the people who always help me out even though I ASK TOO MUCH. I respect them. Even when I’m not asking, they explain it to me little by little. Thank you, heart heart from me!
Man, I am in a new environment where I don’t know how to act and you wanted me to KNOW it when I really DON’T know what to do?
Teach me, then I would learn it. Tell me, then I would know it. In the end, I could walk on my own feet.
Just imagine a student got a task and he was supposed to know how to draw a castle when in his lifetime he never visited a castle or even knew what it looked like!
I’m hoping when I’m getting older, my spirits never lessen. There wouldn’t be “you youngsters do it. I’m already old enough to do this job.” when actually they still get paid enough from the government and that sentence was just a mask of “I don’t care about that task, it is bothersome. MOVE!”
I am the triangle that could never fit into the world of circles.
You are so idealized. I don’t know If it was an insult or a compliment because I got that shout-out from my colleagues. From that I know I have different thoughts and ideas than others.
When others were the type to accept it or the so-called yes-man.
I am not.
I need to know why I’ve been chosen. I need to see clear proof of why A needs to be changed to X. I need to be explained clearly why Z keeps as Z. I need to know why this task is important enough for me to do.
That was because I’m doing my work wholeheartedly. I took it seriously.
I don’t wanna be the one that doesn’t understand when I am supposed to know about the basic information.
For the one who always helped me out and was patient enough to face me. Thank you!
Okie here comes the Cooling session.
After you guys read the complaints above, we need a cooling session.
When I am aware that this isn’t a place for me, why do I need to stay?
Perseverance.
It began with my own choice. I chose to move to the latter workplace.
There were also ups and downs in my former workplace but compared to the latter, I still could accept the former. There were supporting systems such as a psychologist at school that always listen and share her thoughts, and my team coordinator at that time was really kind. Almost all of my colleagues were also very supportive. That was the place I could develop into the best version of myself.
For now, I’m just hoping to hold tight to the thread of perseverance of my own choices. In the future, I hope that I could create and build my own workplace that no one with red flags could fit into.
Looking up to my mom and dad, they persevered through their own problem so they become who they are right now.
THIS IS ONLY DUNYA DIN!! ENDURE IT!!! ALLAH KNOWS YOUR STRUGGLE! EVERY SWEAT AND FALLING TEARS WOULD BE PAID!!
The ones who aren’t good enough would be judged by Allah at the end of their lives. YOU JUST DON’T LEARN FROM THEM AND IGNORE THEM FULLY!
Okay, it is enough for me to throw the trash in here. I am the type of person who could shout really loud about my trashy thought through writing. It helps me a lot.
Closing Session here.
Bye.
Adinda 